Dream
(the episode begins in what appears to be a Family Guy episode, Peter Griffin drives off in his car to a house, he breaks in through the window) Nicki Minaj: Hi. Peter: I hate your CD. Nicki Minaj: (triggered, she punches Peter in the face, the scene cuts to her swimming clothed in a bathtub full of blood) I fly with the stars in the skies, I am no longer trying to survive, I believe that life is a prize, But to live doesn't mean you're alive, Don't worry bout me and who I fire I get what I desire it's my empire And yes I call the shots I am the umpire I sprinkle holy water upon the vampire In this very moment I'm king-'' (meanwhile, the world was having a really bad storm but no one was affected by it, back in the bathtub, Gavin shows up) Gavin: Hmm... a furry artist doesn't like me but I do. (Gavin wakes up from his dream) Oh, it was just a dream. (the theme song plays, afterwards, Gavin tells his dream to the users at breakfast) And then, I showed up and was thinking about a furry artist that didn't like me but I did/do. I think Drake was there too. Bong: I admire the determination in your dream. You even got the featured artist in the dream. That's attention to detail. Originator: I thought my dreams were weird. Cicicity: I'm more worried about the furry artist because they're a furry artist. Cosmobo: (slapping him) Stay off the sauce. Da Nerd: (locked in the cupboard) THAT'S MY F*****G LINE! Kelpy: ..and they said puberty was a good thing. RadioGuy: (to audience) This is why you shouldn't do drugs, kids. Timmy: I'm scared. Mason: Don't worry, it was just a nightmare. Wait, who even IS Gavin? Bong: He's been here a while. WalkingBird: You could say that again. SpongeBot: I wish I could have dreams but SOMEONE didn't get that far in my programming! Polar: What? I thought swearing would be more important. Cicicity: He has a point. After all, swearing is caring. I'll have some toast and some Coco Pops for the kids, chef. (Arch Wizard Megumin gives him a death stare) OK, OK! I'll get it myself. (he gets up and goes to get it, we see the time quickly change to after school where a lot of the users are writing new material) SpongeBot: I really should make a new Dunces and Dragons episode. Phil: You mean DaD. SpongeBot: Pardon? Phil: Dunces and Dragons. DaD. D-a-d. SpongeBot: (pause) No one says that. Plus, it just sounds weird saying 'I should really make a new DaD'. Phil: True. What do you think, Rocky? Rocky: I hate all of you. (cut to the supermarket, Polar is doing shopping) Polar: ''Never gonna give you up, whoo! Never gonna let you down, wee! Never gonna run around and desert you! ''And that leads us on nicely to the dessert aisle. It certainly does, Tim. Why thank you, Tyler. (sighs as he puts a load of vanilla ice cream into the trolley) Might as well grab some Charlie C and Weenie Weed while I'm at it. (laughs, two people are hiding behind a stack of cans) AMK: You see that weird guy over there with the kitty cat headband? SpongeBob: Yeah? AMK: He's our target. SpongeBob: He doesn't look like the type of guy that would write fan-fiction about me, though. AMK: Oh, he is. In fact, he writing the very words you're speaking right now. (SpongeBob gasps) I want you to go over to him and- OH SHI- (Polar knocks over the stack) Polar: Well, I guess now we have a lifetime supply of Cola. And just as I got way too much of that Charlie stuff. Hi, SpongeBob. SpongeBob: (laughs) Again! Again! AMK: (slaps SpongeBob, whispers) He's our target, remember? SpongeBob: Oh yeah. (Polar stares at them, confused) I've, er, just remembered! I should be at The Krusty Krab! (he flees) AMK: (awkwardly) I help you load these into the trolley. (cut back to the HQ, the guys are having a pizza party) SpongeBot: OMG! THIS IS DELICIOUS! Polar: I think I've finally found my calling! I could be the HQ shopper! Arch Wizard Megumin: Maybe, I haven't thought of excuses to get rid of the other guys yet. Bring out round 2, Primitive! Primitive: FOR F***'S SAKE! (he leaves) Pluto: Hey guys. SpongeBot: Pluto? Is that you? From like ages ago? Pluto: Yeah, I'm back from hibernation. Unlike SOMEONE. (points upstairs, the doorbell goes, this time it's Jingle Bells) SpongeBot: I'll get it. (he answers the door) Danilo: Hi, uh, could I join the club? SpongeBot: It's not really a cl- Danilo: Oh sweet, pizza! (he enters and starts eating) SpongeBot: OK, then... (he closes the door) Bong: It's a bit quiet in here. Polar: Don't worry, I thought of that too. (he puts on a Nicki Minaj CD) ''I fly with the stars in the skies, I am no longer trying to survive, ''I believe that life is a prize-'' (Kelpy angrily rejects it and drives off) Bong: (after a pause) I'm not even gonna question that. Travis: Who wants sausages? (the next day, Polar is watching early morning news) Anchorwoman: ...and, in other news, Nicki Minaj has been prisoned for murdering a teenager who has been identified at 'Kelpy Gilbert'. He is said to have been living at a FANDOM HQ. I'm Aunt Flow and we'll be back after the break. Polar: Wait, that sounds a lot like Gavin's dream last night. Phil: You remembered that s**t? Polar: Well, yeah, it was so stupid I couldn't forget. Like that time Travis ran down the stairs naked. (Cicicity starts laughing so much it eventually becomes awkward so he stops) Cicicity: Sorry. SpongeBot: Why are you guys joking around? Kelpy's been murdered! Polar: (sarcastically) Oh my God, they killed Kelpy! Phil: SpongeBot's right. (sighs) It will be a sad funeral. Danilo: Sadder than the loser lounge. Timmy: Hey! Arch Wizard megumin: As dictator of this organisation, I say we must move on no matter what. Yes, we shall go to the funeral but we must not let that get in the way of our fanfiction. Juicy transcripts are so much better than people. Travis: Agreed. Arch Wizard megumin: Nonetheless, I will ring his parents and see what's happening. Phil: While you're at it, could you find out his real name? Arch Wizard Megumin: Yeah, and I'll find out his social security number while I'm at it. (he leaves as Gavin comes downstairs) SpongeBot: You K? Gavin: Yeah, I just had another dream again. (the whole wiki gathers 'round to listen) I was scrolling a Wikipedia page of Cannabis, and I read about celebrities and users on this wiki who took it. It’s been a while since I’ve been so interested in my own dreams. Polar: It's been a while since I've been so interested in your dreams. Bong: Did I do it? Gavin: Can't remember. Kelp did though. (looks around) Where is he? (cut to Kelpy's funeral) Phil: I'm deeply honoured to have been asked to speak today by Kyle's family. Er... Um... R.I.P. fam. And f**k those haters! Umm... Is there anything anyone would like to add? (Travis runs into the room naked) Travis: YOU GUYS ARE GONNA LOVE THE FUNERAL RECEPTION! (end, in a post credits scene, Kelpy arrives at the gates of Heaven) Kelpy: Huh? What happened? Am I dead? I'VE MADE IT! I'VE ACTUALLY MADE IT! OH JESU- (he notices an angel watching him) Sorry. Angel: Kyle Gilbert? Kelpy: You can call me Kelpy. So, what happens 'round here? Angel: Not much. (pause) You want the deluxe edition of Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded? It has the Press Conference on it! Kelpy: This is another one of Gavin's dreams, isn't it? Angel: Yeah. (after a pause, Kelpy dies again, end)